Evgeny Kalinin is Ukraine’s own petrol-powered, testicle-risking Jean-Claude Van Damme .
As the author of “Avtodvyzh” Nicholas Redhead, added that the complexity of the trick is that, unlike the Belgian, Eugene had no foothold.
More info on the original article, here: http://tsn.ua/tsikavinki/odeskiy-ekstremal-povtoriv-neymovirniy-tryuk-van-damma-zi-shpagatom-video-328626.html
Vodka.
By Jared Morgan
It’s a word with a lot of promise.
For me it’s a promise of fun…or a night that, next morning, is completely forgotten.
When vodka and I were introduced our meetings were fleeting – confined to a Bloody Mary or two, no commitment or bonds were formed.
In Kyiv, vodka and I have intensified our relationship.
It’s a tempestuous affair, born not from mutual attraction, but from social necessity.
Here, drinking vodka, or horilka as more patriotic Ukrainians call it, is a ritual.
It’s an appealing ritual.
As a foreigner drinking with Ukrainians allows you to experience them away from the serious demeanour they adapt on the street and see they have a well-developed sense of fun. Great hosts, the food flows as freely as the drink.
But the drink….
Vodka and I were reacquainted on my second day at work.
“Jared, tonight we are having a party,” my colleague informed me mid-afternoon.
“Oh…OK,” I replied. “But it’s only Tuesday.”
“And what?”
The response was laced with surprise.
“In New Zealand we don’t drink on a Tuesday,” I said.
“Today, we must drink…Yura has new car.”
I didn’t have time to rationalise the reason, I was distracted by a gesture I had never seen before.
It was a tap to his neck that could have been mistaken for scratching an itch, if another colleague hadn’t repeated the gesture five minutes later.
Establishing this as a non-verbal cue for drinking – my affair with vodka began.
Coming from a culture where, when drinking, food is an afterthought, it was a baptism of fire.
“You must eat,” I was told after several shots.
It was already too late..
On this night, at a party to celebrate a car, with people I didn’t really know, I set a precedent.
I burst into song, serenading my workmates with an eclectic assortment of songs from my homeland, through to a reasonably accurate (by all accounts) rendition of Ya Stanu Morem by Ukrainian songstress Ani Lorak.
My command of Russian is that of an infant, I understand less Ukrainian and I had heard this song maybe three times.
However, vodka tends to melt social and cultural barriers and maybe language barriers thaw along with them.
Unfortunately this effect is temporary; any great leaps forward in my understanding of Russian were gone the next day along with any memory of the party beyond the first hour.
I did learn one lesson – the statement “you must eat” is very true.
I put this into practice when my colleagues discovered my birthday falls on Ukraine’s Independence Day.
The amount of vodka was considerably larger, but “you must eat” became my mantra.
As day turned to night, I again became a human jukebox, but I’d paced myself, eaten, and this time it was not a solo performance as others too became prone to musical outbursts.
Singing now accompanies any meeting I have with vodka, but these are not regular.
The pitfalls for foreigners who get too caught in this culture are obvious.
A friend explained it bluntly…
“A lot of foreigners become alcoholic, because we (Ukrainians) like foreigners – everyone wants to drink with them.”
While “you must eat” is an essential pointer – this warning is food for thought.
I stole my thunder
This week Kyiv‘s most popular daily newspaper Segodnya ran an article about my 101 reasons to love Kyiv. However, like thousands of others, they found the original blog post I wrote under a short-lived pseudonym – the Ukrainian Penguin.
So, much to my dismay, my pseudonym is now more famous than me and as a result I am getting all the attention I want. I’m jealous of myself and believe me, it’s a strange feeling.
Doing battle with negative stereotypes
Speaking, this time as myself, I was quoted in an article on Friday that made the front page of the Kyiv Post. The article explored Ukraine’s global image ahead of the EURO 2012 football finals that take place here next month.
As you can see from the article, I think Ukraine’s image problem is largely just that – an image problem, and this image doesn’t do justice to reality. Well, not entirely.
There are many problems here and there isn’t a very well-developed tourist infrastructure. However, as my colleague Chris Collison points out in the same article, this is what makes Ukraine appealing. Not only is Ukraine much safer than people think, but when you visit, you are visiting a real living space. The absence of a ‘tourist trail’ means you’ll spend most of your time engaged with the real world – warts n’all, and you’re much more likely to interact with the lovable Ukrainians who live here.
I’m not going to rant about this topic here, but I should thank the author of the article for including my thoughts. I was unnecessarily blunt with her when we talked because so many Ukrainian journalists are obsessed with this topic and so many want us ‘foreigners’ to tell everyone how awful this place is. The reality is, if you’re curious and you like adventure – it’s not.
It girls and IT guys
The glamour of Ukrainian women is a highly debated topic both here and abroad and its fair to say that many posses a certain ‘it girl’ quality.
However, while Ukraine’s females are keeping-up their fashion chic, Ukraine’s IT guys are leading the world in techno-geek uncool.
I spent 10 years in the IT industry, and during that time I saw some pretty impressive fashion crimes. However nothing compares to the IT guy who works in my office in Kiev. On Friday he was wearing a leopard-skin pattern shirt with a leather waistcoat, tight black trousers and cowboy boots. As if this wasn’t enough he has a massive Ron Jeremy moustache to boot.
He’s so 1980s super-uncool it’s almost unbelievable, and yet nobody bats an eyelid!
The fashion extremes are dizzying.
You look like a ……
Despite my best efforts to blend-in with the locals, my Ukrainian friends assure me that I still look like a foreigner. Like all Ukrainian guys, I have tried my best to look like Michael Knight, but it seems that I’m just not cutting the Ukrainian mustard.
However, I have made some ‘progress’ because last week a girl asked me if I was Belgian and this week my friend said I looked like a Moldovan. A Moldovan!!
Babushka watch
The ‘babushka of the week’ award this week goes to the old woman who sits on the stairs playing the accordion outside Klovska metro station. She’s about 70 but she can (and does) play her tunes for a whole 10-hour day. It drives me crazy after about two hours, but I have a deep admiration for her determination and her stamina.
Strange art
Yes, there’s some veg resting on those ‘breasts’
The Metro speaks English!
On the morning of Monday May 14th, I received an SMS from My Dutch friend.
“The Metro started to speak English!”
It was a historic moment and it made me laugh.
Village of town type
This week I learnt that, in Ukraine, a village which grows beyond being a small settlement can become a ‘village of town-type’.
Having grown up near Kidlington which doesn’t know what the hell it is, this grading system seems surprisingly logical. However, it made me wonder if it works both ways? If a city is full of stray dogs and Babushkas selling cabbages, could it be called a ‘city of village type’?
I also learnt that there’s a Russian word for people who have the same name: Tjoski
In a country that collectively shares about twelve names, this also seems beautifully logical.
This is a short ‘survival guide’ for people who are unfamiliar with Ukraine.
I have been here in Ukraine for over two years, but I still remember what it is like to arrive in an unfamiliar place with a crazy alphabet and an almost non-existent tourist industry. So, while the guide is not 100% serious – I hope you find it useful and/or enjoyable.
Also, if you live here and you have anything to add, or if you disagree with me, please add your comments below. I’m sure there will be lots of things I miss and I hope the comments section will grow to be as useful as the guide itself.
If you have any questions, then please also use the comments section at the bottom. I will add more to the guide as/when I can.
The water.
Drinking the water in Ukraine won’t kill you, but it might give you unwanted stomach problems and if you drink too much you might spend more time on the toilet than anywhere else.
Most locals happily drink the water once its been boiled (for tea etc) and it doesn’t do them any harm. It is also perfectly fine to wash your teeth and rinse your mouth with the tap water, so don’t panic if you accidentally drink some or swallow some while cleaning your teeth – you’re not going to die.
To be 100% safe buy and drink bottled water which you can buy from almost every Kiosk/shop. Also, if you are unlucky and you do develop a bad stomach you will find pharmacies all over the city. Good luck explaining your symptoms to the cashier 😉
Toilets and toilet paper.
If you ‘need to go’ while you are in a hotel, bar or restaurant then the toilet will probably look quite familiar