Today’s top tip. If you have the misfortune of cracking your windscreen in Oxford whilst under the cover of a ‘Post Office’ 3rd party insurance policy – phone Botley Windscreens on 01865 884455. They will charge you somthing like £100 + vat.

DO NOT call Autoglass who will quote over £300 for the same thing and then offer a discount price of £290.

Actually, whilst I’m at it – here’s a few more…

Do NOT leave your jacket(with your mobile phone in the pocket) on a table in Poo-Na-Na’s and then go to the bar. It will get stolen.

Do NOT expect the Zodiac (sorry, Carling Academy) to get the guest list sorted out when you’re supposed to be on it to see Ian Brown.

Do, seek alternative places to have dental work carried out. It’s just too expensive here and lets face it – not that good.

and finally

Do book your flights to Iceland now. It’ll only get more expensive and we don’t want to hear about it all weekend

Ahh, I should have a column in the Oxford Mail …second thoughts – it’s been taken over by Nazi Facists.

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